Becoming a Nudist – Chapter 1. Nudity, Body and Sexuality – The Sexual Feeling

Previous Part: The Human Body

Most religions see sexual relations as the act of ensuring reproduction. As with most other activities, religions want us to ignore beauty and pleasure outside of the beauty of God or the pleasure of God. Therefore, enjoying having sex is a sin. The Jewish Law of Tzenius for instance guides to only have sexual relations under cover and in the dark, therefore not looking at your partner. Islam Law describes that all intimate body parts need to be covered and specific rules describe when they can be uncovered, mainly for bathing or going to the toilet.

When you dig into this idea, you realize that penises, breasts, and vulvas, and sometimes many other body parts, are labelled as sexual parts first. Sexual equals private. End of the story. Religions have created rules to help people live and die. Therefore, by creating moral rules, they help believers to behave in a way that is aligned with their faith. However, there is a clear delineation between sex for reproduction and sex for pleasure.

The former is authorized between married men and women, while the latter is generally forbidden and considered as a sin. Pleasure and religions are more foes than friends. And sexual pleasure is generally a big no. However, as we are taking an atheist approach, we consider sex as being good.

Sex Is Good

I personally like sex a lot. I seize many opportunities to have sex with my partner. Sex is about having a wonderful time sharing very close and deep bonding with your partners. Sex can also be enjoyed alone through masturbation. I confess that I masturbate more often than not, as I really enjoy sex, and it’s always a pleasant time. Some people also enjoy sex with multiple partners. Although I’m not in swinging nor is my partner, I recognize that if people want to have and enjoy sex with more than one partner, I have no issues with this. The same goes with people who decide to have sex with other men or women, outside of their regular partner.

So whether you want to have sex on your own, with your partner, with other men or women, with more than one partner, it remains your own choice. As long as sex is between consenting adults, all I can say is sex is good and I’m happy that people can enjoy their sexual relationships. Note, however, that I wrote, “between consenting adults”. Not consenting to a sexual relation between adults need to be considered as rape. I’m not even considering sexual relationships with children which is a crime in most countries.

Sex practice remains a personal choice. I believe it should always be done between consenting adults. This notion of consent is central. It shows respect and I believe it’s the only way to really enjoy life.

Voyeurism and Exhibitionism

But what about being the witness of sexual relationships? Some people are voyeurs and enjoy watching other having sex. Some people are exhibitionists and enjoy being watched as they have sex. The issue with voyeurs and exhibitionists is the following. If exhibitionists are only watched by voyeurs, and both consent to that act, we can consider this is fine.

The exhibitionists are having sex in front of voyeurs, this is their choice and it should be respected. However, if exhibitionists are having sex in the view of people who have not consented to watch them, this is not fine anymore. Unfortunately for nudism, this kind of behaviour teints nudism with bad press, and textiles are tempted to think nudists are just exhibitionists. 

The same goes with voyeurs who may be sexually aroused just by watching naked people. They may make other uncomfortable just by gazing and may turn around new nudists. I had some bad experiences with my partner on some nudist beaches, mostly with men (we had a voyeur woman only once), staring at us and particularly glancing at my partner, making her very uncomfortable to a point I had to intervene. Such behaviours are not to be tolerated on nudist beaches and resorts.

Being Nude Is Sexually Pleasant

Because nudity is often linked to sex, being naked or seeing naked people can be the origin of sexual arousal. It’s not uncommon to feel aroused when seeing even casual nudity. A beautiful naked man or woman can create sexual feelings. This feeling and sensation are totally normal. There’s nothing wrong with being sexually aroused by nudity.

Being conscious about this is the first step to untie the link between nudity and sexuality as we will see in the next part of this chapter. However, for the moment, we need to accept sexual arousal as being normal. Religions are generally against sex and consider this as a sin, outside of a blessed union like marriage. But sex is good. It’s not only pleasant: It has many health benefits.

Sexual Health Benefits

WebMD, a medical web site listed fourteen health benefits to sex. Here are nine and a tenth I’m adding in the nudist context:

1. It’s exercise. It may not be a full workout, but it’s moderate exercise that raises heart rate like a brisk walk.

2. It’s good for the heart. Women who are having sex twice a week are less likely to get heart disease than those who have it once a month.

3. It lowers stress. People who have more sex are less anxious when they’re faced with stressful tasks.

4. It sharpens your mind. Sex has been linked to the making of new brain cells.

5. It bonds you to your partner. The hormone oxytocin is released during sex, and it sparks feelings of intimacy, affection, and closeness with your partner.

6. It keeps you lean. The more sex you have, the slimmer you’re likely to be. 

7. It’s good for mental health. Adults in committed relationships who have more sex are less likely to be depressed or take medication for mental health issues.

8. It helps you sleep. Orgasm triggers a surge of endorphins and oxytocin in both men and women, and that dulls pain and relaxes you.

9. It helps your future self. People who have more sex may have better quality of life – and not just now, but in the future, too. 

10. It helps you being comfortable naked. If you have sex entirely naked in full light, you will accept your body better.

So, since sex is so good, let’s have sex more often, but not in full view to others in a nudist setting.

The sexual arousal

Since we are thinking animals and sex is so good, we need to be capable of recognizing our sexual feeling and thoughts, also called sexual arousal. There are many physiological signs to sexual arousal: Flushed face, dilated pupils, increased heart rate and blood flow to the genitals are some.

The later generates an erection for the men and vaginal lubrication for the women for instance. Those are clear signs that sexual feeling is rising. In an article in Psychology Today entitled Put Your Attention on Sexual Arousal, Not Orgasm, the author, Pamela Madsen, writes that sexual arousal “can be compared to turning on a shower and waiting for the water to reach the right temperature before you can get in”.

For many people, seeing people naked or getting naked turns the shower on. Nudity and sexuality are linked in their minds and one starts the other. Sometimes, arousal comes without even thinking about it. It happens that a thought comes to your mind and you start feeling some arousal.

In most cases, you can think to something else and the feeling vanishes. In some, you may want to have sex, if you can, and that’s good, as long as you can either do it alone or with other consenting adults.

Sex is an important aspect of our lives. It’s necessary to the survival of our species. Evolution has created sexual pleasure to ensure we mate. Evolution has also allowed us to think and manage our emotions. Hence, when this tingling feeling rises, we can recognize it and decide to let it go.

Nudity and Sexuality

Do you need to be naked or to see naked people to get sexually excited? No! Does being naked or seeing naked people excite you sexually? It may, but it also may not. Tying nudity to sexuality is a mental construction. It seems normal for many people, because from a young age they have been educated with this simple idea in mind.

Because this is a deep belief in our society, it’s anchored in many minds. Advertisers are using it to trigger sexual feelings. “Sexy” bodies or poses are used to attract and sell products, and not only sexual products, any product. This reinforces the idea that nudity and sexuality are one.

What is the most “sexy”? A half-naked man or woman with a well-toned body and a sexy pose or an ordinary entirely naked man or woman on a nude beach? Most people will say the former. The previous examples show there is not a bijective function between sexuality and nudity. That bijective function is the result of a choice, be it cultural, societal or religious.

Nudism and Sexuality

So, even though being naked or seeing naked people may be the source of a nascent sexual feeling, it’s possible to send it to the back of your brain to allow non-sexual nudity to blossom. Nudism is not inherently sexual and should not be if we want nudism to flourish as a family-oriented lifestyle.

However, nudists are not asexual beings. Sexuality should not be banned from nudism. It needs to stay behind close doors. It needs to be seen only by consenting adults.

This does not mean you cannot kiss your significant others in view of other nudists or textiles. This does mean you cannot sexually caress your significant others in view of other nudists or textile. This does mean you cannot have sexual relations in view of other nudists or textiles.

If you love being seen making love or having any other form of sexual relationships, ensure viewing eyes are consenting and that you cannot be seen by not consenting ones. If you love seeing others make love or having any other form of sexual relationship, ensure people who you are watching consent to your viewing and that no non-consenting eyes can witness the acts. This is simple to understand and should be simple to respect if we all want a family-friendly nudism and draw a clear line between sexual nudity and simple nudity.

Simple Nudity

Simple nudity is a nudity that does not erase sexual feelings. Simple nudity is a nudity that sends sexual feeling to the back of our minds. Simple nudity is a nudity that does not show sexual acts or behaviours. Simple nudity is a nudity that displays body in their nudity. Simple nudity is a nudity that allows any form of activities that are “normally” carried out clothed.

In the rest of this book and in all other blog posts that talks about nudity, simple nudity is a given. Nudism in the way a majority of nudists understand it is a lifestyle that sets simple nudity at its core. Once again, it’s not erasing sexuality. It’s about keeping sexuality among consenting adults only, while allowing people to live their lives entirely naked.

Simple nudity is enjoying our body in its freedom of movement and sensations, freed from clothing. Simple nudity is not obscene. It’s the simplest state of any human body, freed from any sexual afterthoughts. Simple nudity, once accepted, allows the birth of an incredible physical and psychological freedom, as we will see in the next chapters.

Next Part: Chapter 1. Nudity, Body and Sexuality – Untying The Knot

Strip Naked, Stay Naked, Live Naked, and Share the Naked Love!

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